I say this a lot to God when at a crossroad, considering doing something that I know, deep down, is contrary to God’s will and/or law but is something of my will, my ego, that I want to do. In John 19:10, Pilot, standing toe to toe with Jesus, tells Jesus, “Do you not know that I have power to release you and I have power to crucify you?” This is a true statement of fact. I have the free will to select and do the good thing and to select and do the evil/bad.
I see this battle of wills hundreds of times each day in my own life, people I meet and see on my daily trek, on the news, on TV shows. We seem to get this testosterone hormone burst every time we choose our will vs. God’s. As we bring others along with us, we introduce others and celebrate this hormonal rush. Together we tend to feel that we have gotten away with something, adding to the personal hormonal burst a collective burst as well – “I/we thumbed our noses at God and He didn’t do a thing about it”. The next steps in this journey, one continues to test God, replacing God’s peace and joy with these short burst power surge highs. One power surge is followed by more and soon these testosterone surges morph into an addictive drug, driving one’s life to supplant peace and joy with lumped together hormonal power highs.
But now comes the second part of this Bible story – Jesus’ response back to Pilot. “You would have no power over me if it had not been given to you from above.” This is the challenge that trumps this hormonal burst. The power felt would not be possible if it was not allowed by God first. It is my responsibility to choose wisely. There are consequences for choosing against God’s will. The first is the loss of one’s peace and joy. Peace and joy cannot be created or manufactured by anything that I do or plan to do. By choosing unwisely, my soul becomes restless and scarred. I become a wandering soul, a Cain set out to the world searching for peace, somewhere, somehow.
The bad news, because of the Sin of Adam, we lost our ability for perfection – we sin. The good news, God forgives use when we repent and ask for His forgiveness. Jesus told the paralytic, “Courage, child, your sins are forgiven.” It doesn’t get any better than this.
So, if you are at one of those crossroads where your will is contrary to God’s, know that there is much more joy in God’s ways than yours. How will you know if what you want to do is your and not God’s will? I received some sage advise one time when I was younger. It said, “If you have to ask, probably it is not God’s ways you are considering.” It is the next step that gets us all the time – trying to make my will sound like God’s. Find your joy and peace by finding and doing God’s will that He has in store for you. It will make your day and life go much better. Amen.
 John 19:11
 Gen 4:12
 Matthew 9:2